you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You are a genius and a whore.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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