dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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