First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize