How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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