and you said cock pushups were impossible
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize