THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
