bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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