just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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