My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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