Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
