wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
