It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
