what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
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