spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
