Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
