After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
