If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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