I'm lost and stupid without you.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
