all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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