I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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