You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Where is the hickey?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
