I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
