i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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