There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I've blown a few things in my day
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize