You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
