Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Sry I called you an 8
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
