I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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