So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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