I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
