I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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