He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
