he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
