so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
