It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
