don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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