i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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