oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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