I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
