I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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