Whod you bang
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
