fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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