U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
