I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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