I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
