it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
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he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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