We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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