this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
