i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
