Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
40s are totally the cure
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
