I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Btw I puked in your glovebox
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
