Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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