I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
