My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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