I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
