just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
