Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
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We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
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Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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