Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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