As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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