'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
